70+ Most Amazing Twitter Status and Quotes 2016

70+ Most Amazing Twitter Status and Quotes 2016

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Looking for Amazing Twitter Status? StatusZilla presents the brilliant collection of Amazing Twitter Status and Quotes for you.

Twitter is quite being used by almost everyone now as like Facebook. Some people prefer Twitter as best and easier as compared to Facebook as tweeting is been a easy task now from anywhere, anytime. So, how about putting an Amazing Twitter Status now?

Scroll down and you’ll see the extensive collection of Amazing Twitter Status and Quotes. You’d love to pick one and tweet it up! Hopefully you’ll get the best idea from the list and everyone is gonna love it. 🙂

Also check: Whatsapp Status and Quotes 2016

Top 5 Amazing Twitter Status And Quotes:

Amazing Twitter Status And Quotes

  • Without ME, it’s just AWESOME.
  • When people go underwater in movies, I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived in that situation.
  • I like children. Properly cooked.
  • Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
  • Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!

amazing twitter status

Fantastic Status About Twitter:

1 – Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.

2 – At least mosquitoes are attracted to me.

3 – When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?

4 – Be what you want to be, not what other wants to see.

5 – If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.

6 – I am not fat, I am just. Easier to see.

7 – God must love stupid people- he made so many!

8 – You’re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.

9 – Reading texts half asleep is like looking into the sun.

Also check: Facebook Status And Quotes

10 – I had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.

11 – Dear Lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won’t make a bad person.

12 – Sometimes you just need some space… to fart.

13 – The greatest pleasure in Life is doing what people say you can’t do.

14 – Sometimes the only one, who can appreciate you, is you.

15 – You don’t realize how many clothes you have, until you wash them.

16 – Good girls are bad girls, who never get caught.

17 – I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

18 – If there is no chocolate in heaven…”I AM NOT GOING”.

19 – All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.

20 – Do what is “Right”, not what is “Easy”.

21 – Kidnapping? I prefer the term “surprise adoption”.

22 – The longer the title the less important the job.

23 – That moment when even Caps Lock can’t express your anger.

24 – A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

25 – If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.

Funny and Amazing Twitter Status And Quotes:

26 – They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

27 – My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

28 – Hey, I found your Nose; it was in my business again.

29 – I’ve been using Google for 10 years and I have no idea who uses the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.

30 – Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

31 – The worst distance between two people is misunderstanding.

32 – My girlfriend is like my iPad… I don’t have an iPad.

33 – She is so fake that she should have two Facebook accounts; one for each face!

34 – You can do anything, but not everything.

35 – When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…”

36 – When you drop your phone, your heart hits the ground before your phone does.

37 – Relationships are a lot like Algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

38 – Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.

39 – If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.

40 – Having one child makes you a parent, having two makes you a referee.

41 – I always learn from mistakes of others, who took my advice.

42 – I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

43 – Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?

44 – I heard you took an IQ test and they said you’re results were negative.

45 – I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Most Commonly Twitter Status And Sayings:

46 – I’m not perfect, I am original.

47 – By the time you learn the rules of life, you’re too old to play the game.

48 – If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

49 – I am only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.

50 – I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice.

51 – Dry fruits are just fruits that have become senior citizens.

52 – God made every person different, He just got tired by the time he got to china.

53 – They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who’s in a hurry?

54 – If “Plan A” didn’t work. Don’t worry; the alphabet has 25 more letters.

55 – Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?

56 – That depressing moment when you dip your cookie into milk for too long, it breaks off, and you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

57 – I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.

58 – How do people write an auto biography? I can barely remember what I had for lunch yesterday.

59 – When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car”.

60 – If you hurt my best friend, I will make your death look like an accident.

61 – All girls are my sisters except you.

62 – My Mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.

63 – Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married.

64 – A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

65 – If you can’t change a Girl… change the Girl.

66 – Need Love? … No… I would prefer vodka!

67 – I am not lazy, I just rest before I tired.

68 – God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China.

69 – I look at people sometimes and think… Really? That’s the sperm that won.

70 – I’m pretty sure my prayers go directly to God’s spam folder.

71 – When in doubt, mumble.

72 – Whenever I have a problem, I just sing, then I realize my voice is worse than my problem.

73 – Think twice before you speak, you’d be able to say something more Insulting.

74 – I wake up when I can’t hold my pee in any longer.

75 – If you’re texting two people at the same time, you are biTextual.

Hope you loved this list of Amazing Twitter Status. 🙂

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